About HoopDoggs
Our Story
MEET DEAN — THE MAIN MAN, THE MISCHIEF MAKER, THE CEO OF NOT GIVING A SH*T
Hi. I’m Dean. I started this ridiculous little circus called Hoopdogg’s because I got bored out of my skull and figured, “Why not sell weird, unnecessary crap to the internet?” And guess what? You morons actually started buying it. So here we are.
I’m not a guru. I’m not a visionary. I’m just a bloke who realised that people will buy literally anything if you slap some sarcasm on it and ship it in a box. So now I run this chaos machine where the products are questionable, the attitude’s filthy, and the customer service is basically just me ignoring your emails while eating leftover pizza.
I didn’t build this business out of passion. I built it out of pure boredom, a dash of cynicism, and the burning desire to make money without working a real job or talking to people who use phrases like “touch base” or “circle back.”
Let’s be honest:
Most of the stuff we sell is random, pointless, and potentially offensive to someone, somewhere. That’s the charm. You don’t need any of it. But you’ll still buy it, because dopamine is a hell of a drug, and I know exactly how to trigger your “f*ck it, I deserve this” button.
This is not a wholesome business with a mission to “change the world.”
This is Hoopdogg’s — we’re here to make you laugh, sell you sh*t you’ll regret later, and retire on your impulse buys.
You want heartfelt branding? Go hug a candle store.
You want inspiration? Try a TED Talk.
You want unapologetic chaos, questionable products, and an owner who’s one bad day away from selling socks with swear words on them? You’ve come to the right place.
So yeah — I’m Dean.
The guy who built a trash empire out of boredom and sarcasm.
Buy something, don’t buy something. I’ll still sleep fine either way.
Now go fill your cart, or kindly f*ck off.
Our Products
At Hoopdogg’s, we proudly sell the kind of random, pointless sh*t that makes you question your life choices after you’ve already entered your card details. We’re talking weird collectibles, rude mugs, useless decor, maybe a stress ball shaped like a screaming potato — who knows? It’s the kind of junk nobody really needs, but somehow everyone wants because their brain said, “Screw it, treat yourself, goblin.” If it’s bizarre, offensive, or makes your nan clutch her pearls — we probably sell it. Welcome to the digital version of a car boot sale run by drunk gremlins.
Our Mission
At Hoopdogg’s, our “mission” — if you can even call it that — is simple: we’re trying to clear out all the random sh*t Dean’s hoarded over the years and make you pay for it. That’s it. No fancy branding, no life-changing purpose, just a glorified online car boot sale with better insults. We take crap we don’t want, slap on some sarcasm, and somehow convince you to buy it like it’s the holy grail. Think of it as recycling, but ruder and way more profitable for us.