Don’t Contact Us

Let’s be clear: we cannot be f*cked to deal with your messages. Don’t email us about your “delayed order,” your bent box, or your deep emotional need for a refund. We’re not Amazon, we’re not your mum, and we sure as sh*t don’t care.

We run a digital junk pile, not a customer care cult. If you’re writing to say anything other than “here’s my money,” save it. Your message is going straight to the trash while we eat snacks and ignore you with pride.

Thanks for shopping. Now piss off and spend more.